My Uncle’s Collage: A Life in a Heartbeat

Detail of my uncle's photo collage. Top left and four images to the right are of Doug; the one on the bottom right is his mom.

Sometimes the impetus for a collage comes from my need to elaborate on a character who’s currently affecting my life. Since February I’ve been dealing with a temperamental old ailing “uncle” of mine. Although he’s given me plenty to complain about, when I think of what a colourful character he’s been in my life, it always makes me smile…

A Most Unorthodox Gift…

A car mechanic all his life, my Uncle Doug was my father’s good friend for decades in Pakistan and Canada. I only learned several years ago that he wasn’t an actual blood relative of ours. Proud of his bachelor status, and having mysterious ties to his real family, he treated my sisters and I like his very own nieces lavishing us with gifts on special occasions. He had a penchant for giving the most unorthodox ones too… on my first Holy Communion, for instance, he gave me an elegant Timex ladies evening watch with a beautiful blue velvet strap – it was so grown up, I loved it! My aunties who presented me with holy rosaries, bibles (as well as “holy” earrings, “holy” purses!) scolded him for getting me such a sacrilegious gift! But, at age six, I thought it was the coolest present ever! Even today, I love to remind him how happy it made me. Doug’s devotion to our family knew no bounds. He helped us settle into life in Canada; drove my expectant mother (in labour) to the hospital in the middle of a winter ice storm and he alone heard my father’s last words… which he tells me he will never EVER reveal! Why? Because when Doug keeps a secret, he keeps a secret! Damn him!  🙂

The Temper of a Gunfighter…

Although a gentle soul at times, even at age 91, my Uncle Doug has the temper of gun fighter! No kidding! No one dare cross him… or his friends. To the optometrist who informed him that folks would laugh at the cheap frames he’d chosen for his glasses, he gruffly replied: “If they do, I’ll punch them in the face!” And he meant it! Doug always loves to add to his dubious personae. Last month he informed me that as a teenager he had a gun custom-designed for himself by shady men who lived in the hills of Peshawar, India! When I asked why he needed a gun, he said it was to protect himself from the (East) Indians some of who also packed guns (like us he was part of a small, often despised mixed Indo-European Christian community living on the subcontinent). Asking him how he felt now, without his gun, his steely reply was: “Naked.” As well as being an outlaw in spirit, my uncle was a debonair man … a fashionable dresser who could turn the ladies’ heads! His looks reminded me of Hollywood stars like Kirk Douglas and Robert Mitchum. To my surprise I learned one day that Doug actually met one of my favourite actors of old Steward Granger at a hotel bar in Lahore, Pakistan. Granger was filming a movie* about Anglo-Indians (people like us) and Doug thought the movie (Bhowani Junction, 1956) was a “load of rubbish”; he refused to get the actor’s autograph for his disappointed gal pals. As handsome as any actor, in his head, through his tall tales, he was always the star of his stories. Ones in which if anyone questioned his authority or integrity they were duly set straight. If they threatened his friends he was willing to fight to the death for them! Each time I sit down with him, he shares a similar story. One in which, just before he gets to its dramatic ending, he stops for a long pause, bats his eye lids several times then delivers the exciting climax! Always finishing with (while pointing his finger at me) … “And there’s no BLOODY way in HELL, they’ll ever talk to ME like that again!” … his fiery blue-brown eyes piercing mine! In a bar, on the battle field or in the convalescent home, my uncle is always the victor.

A Baptism of Fire…

Many of us go through situations that define who we are. For Doug it was a baptism of fire; one that nearly devoured both his hands. For a man who earned his living repairing engines this might have spelled disaster, but not for him. After much therapy he regained the use of his hands and was back at work in no time – it was a great testament to his will. It’s only been since his late 80’s that his health began to wane, and sadly, this year he was diagnosed with lung cancer. He’s such a package, my uncle, it’s hard for me to imagine him as somebody’s little boy. But he was. An angry gun-slinging teenager who ran away to join the British Indian Army to serve as a Royal Mechanical Engineer during World War II** … all because his wife-beating father kicked him out of the house. His mother died not long after and he laments her death to this day. “Home is where your mother is…” he once told me “when she’s gone, then you have no home.” Estranged from my own mom, his statement holds much resonance for me. When he found a second home here in Ottawa in the 1960’s, he only periodically visited his actual relatives in England and Australia. I guess because his connection to them was geographically constrained, they haven’t ventured to visit much but they call and send him presents. For his ninetieth birthday they sent him a photo collage of his family! He was overjoyed to see images he hadn’t even known existed. There were 15 photos in all of the family in different stages of their lives… his young Scottish mother (as light-skinned as he); his very stern father (an East Indian from Holland with dark features**), his brother, sister, nieces, etc… and a young Doug looking very spiffy in his military uniform and dress suits. He prizes that gift so… it’s his own personal time machine and his sense of home away from home. As he proudly displayed it to me, I was amazed at how art is capable of touching our lives on such a deep level. That collage is now the heartbeat of his life.

What’s Your Story?

Seeing my uncle so many times this year has made him an eligible candidate for one of my commemorative collages. I hope I can find the right pieces to give life to the quirky character he is. Writing up an account of my thoughts like this always helps me to envision what imagery I might want to use to describe him. When I think of composing it… I see hands, a tattooed arm, fire, a kitchen, a young mother as well as architectural and symbolic references to England, Holland and Asia. I hope he will live to see it finished so he can finally understand what it is I do! He tells me he’s still got a few good years left and I believe him – even Death will not defeat my uncle until he is ready. Do you have a colourful relative like Doug you admire that you could commemorate? Who are they? What did they do to impress you? What images and symbols would you use to depict them? Would your piece be a photo collage, collage or a mixed media piece? All are equally challenging and fun to create. If you’re willing to share, I’d love to hear your story about an unforgettable friend or relative.  And, if you make one, I’d love to feature it on a future blog!

Note*: This movie was called “Bhowani Junction” (1956). It was set in post-Partition India and centred on a young Anglo-Indian woman, played by actress Ava Gardner, who was torn between her love for India and England. In the end of film, she chooses to stay in India rather than move away with her British lover. This annoyed Doug because most Anglo-Indians left India and Pakistan in droves to move to England which they considered their true “home”.

Note**: He garnered three medals during World War II.

Note: *** Although his father looks typically East Indian, Doug always refers to him as a Dutch engineer. It’s so curious that he refuses to acknowledge his father’s East Indian origins.

Other Related Links:
“Mrs. S” a Commemorative Journal Page
Ruth Ann’s “Gifts from Heaven & Earth”
Exploring My Family Curse