I discover two versions of myself in “Ghosts of the North, Part II” (a collage in progress). Part III will soon be in the works. What it will reveal, I have only just begun to imagine…
Dream Journal, September 6, 2010:
My husband’s body and that of an Inuit hunter are discovered floating on an iceberg; they are brought to me. From what I can see, they are not dead but merely frozen… I sense they can be revived. I glance down at my husband and see ringlets of fine curly hair frozen against his face. Beside the men is their catch: a pile of shimmering sea creatures that glow like the northern lights. When my husband is revived he doesn’t look like himself physically; he appears transformed in the guise of a young Inuit man. I ask him why he went fishing without telling me. He doesn’t answer right away. Later I discover he hunts often with a young dark-haired Inuit woman dressed in a long white fur skin coat. I think she is a warrior princess or mythical being. I’m saddened that he is attracted to another. When I look into the mirror in my bedroom; the reflection I see is not of me but a white woman with blonde hair. She has a troubled look on her face; she is beautiful with striking blue eyes (ones that remind me of actress Joely Richardson). Is this woman another facet of me? My husband reveals he always wanted to go fishing with his father but the old man wouldn’t take him. I ask him about the young woman and he remarks she is a friend from long ago. I ask him why he keeps photos of her with him: one of them together; another of her standing in the wilderness on a hill… he is silent.
This disturbing tale is from my dream journal… I haven’t recorded many; perhaps a dozen – the ones that really haunt me. I love to draw from them from time to time for my collages. This one has fostered two pieces so far: “Ghosts of the North, Part I” which is featured in my Pieces of Me III portfolio and “Ghosts of the North” Part II”. I’ve been working on this second one over the year in between the moving. It’s one of my latest larger pieces – more than double the size of my previous works!
As always I ask myself: where do dreams come from? Perhaps they emerge from a deep well inside our being where our fears and insecurities battle it out with our desires. As you can imagine, losing my partner to death or some other calamity (or any loved one for that matter) is one of my biggest fears. As I sift through the imagery that makes up Ghosts Part I & II, I reflect upon some of the places its characters and subject matter might have been drawn from… my anxieties over unrequited parent/child relationships; fiction I’ve read (Douglas Glover’s “Elle” springs to mind as does sci-fi cult horror thriller “The Thing”); the tragic death of actress Natasha Richardson (Joely’s Richardson’s sister); a line from Tennyson’s poem “The Lady of Shalott” and my first glimpse of the magical northern lights waltzing above the city’s sky line. Weaving my mental and emotional experiences together in a seemingly nonsensical way, my unconsciousness yields a beautiful mysterious story out of my fears… the mind is such an amazing thing. I keep a dream journal because I know my rational mind could never compose this stuff up on its own. The dreaming me reveals a pure, uninhibited version of myself born of the free-expressive capabilities of my brain and spirit while in sleep stasis. When a dream is this vivid, I know I have to make it real in some form or another. The moment I do, I feel as though I’ve captured a rare, exotic creature to add to my collection of precious things. This particular dream is a most wondrous because it has inspired not one but three pieces! In my search through magazines I keep finding imagery that relates to it to the point that I feel I can now continue the story on my own! Is it coincidence or the design of some unseen Maker guiding my creative spirit? Or a perhaps a glimpse of another life from an alternate universe I inhabit? I’ll let you decide. All I know is manipulating my nightmares in reality allows me to relinquish the fear that accompanied them when they visited me during the dark of night. It’s funny what can happen when we decide to manifest the unreal… I think it’s one of the most compelling reasons to make art.
Do you have a particular dream that haunts you that you’d like to share? If so, I’d love to hear from you …
Other Related Links:
Collaging A Dream Journal
My Secret ATC Trade with Wendy Southin
Leave a Reply